He's Still Working On Me

     Well, hello again. It’s me. Trying my hand at this writing thing...again. I am trying something new. A new routine, and a new process, to get my words flowing...again. I hope you will bear with me as I work through this journey, one day, one word at a time.
     It has not been easy getting to this point. This willingness to do what I’ve been told. For those of you who have ever tried to get your child to clean his room, you know how this process has gone...

First, you try logic:
Parent - "Hey, why don’t you clean up your room right quick."
Child - "But I’m watching Power Rangers right now."
Parent - "Well I need you to do it now so my plans for the rest of the day will run smoother."
Child - "But I can’t do it good. You can do it better."
Parent - "Yeah, but I’ve got the rest of the house to clean. And besides, the more you do it, the better you’ll get at it."My conversation sounded like this:
God - "Why don’t you do some writing."
Me - "I don’t have time, I’m doing all this other stuff you told me I should be doing. And besides, Sis. Suzie can do a better job than me. Why don’t you ask her to do it?"
God - "Practice makes perfect."Then you move to bargaining and guilt:
Parent - "If you will do this, it will really help me out and I won’t be so tired later. Who knows, maybe we could go [do something fun the child will enjoy]."
Child - "Yeah that would be fun. Can we do that first?! Then when we get back, if I have time, I will do it."My conversation:
God - "You know you will feel better when you write something. Spend some quality time with me. And oh the blessings I have waiting for you when you do!"
Me - "Yeah that would be great! Can we do that first?! Then if I feel like it and have time later, I will write something."And finally, it’s time to end this game:
Parent - "I told you to go clean your room."
Child - "But..."
Parent - "No buts. You do it because I am your mother and I said so. I don’t care if you don’t do it perfect. I’m not asking you to shampoo the carpet or paint the walls, just do your best. That’s all I ask."
Child - (huffs and pouts and mumbles under his breath as he does what he is told).My version:
God - "Write."
Me - "But..."
God - "NO. No excuses. Just do it. I’m not asking you to write a New York Times best seller. Just a few paragraphs on a little blog site for a few friends to read. I don’t care if it’s not perfect. I don’t care if you just ramble on about arguing with your kids. Just try! That’s all I ask."
Me - (bowed and crying) "ok."     So, here I sit with my coffee in one hand, thinking it’s way too early to have a pen in the other. Just like the child, I grumble and whine.
"See Lord, I told you I wouldn’t be able to get up early enough. Now I’m gonna be late for work."
"Why is this taking so long? It’s taken me two days to write this."
"Lord, do you see this handwriting?"     Even though he probably wants to tell me that if I’d spend as much time and energy on getting the job done as I do on complaining, it wouldn’t be nearly as hard. But like the good parent, He simply smiles and pats me on my back. And I write some more.
     Finally there’s the moment when the child comes to the mother and excitedly begs her to come see what he’s done. ("but close your eyes cuz it’s a surprise")....TA DA! She opens her eyes to see a room, the covers sideways on the bed, clothes peeking out of dresser drawers, toys thrown haphazardly in the toy box and under the bed...and the child smiling from ear to ear, eyes still red from all his crying. How can she point out his flaws? He sees his room as spic and span, and she lets him have his moment. There’s still time to teach him. It’s a work in progress.
     I known when you read this you will probably hear me rambling, see all my run-on sentences, too many adjectives and not enough complete thoughts, and a dozen other writing errors. But that’s ok with me. It's a work in progress. I am a work in progress.  And this time with God, this feeling of accomplishment early in the morning before I’ve really begun my day. I’m only wishing I’d done it sooner.

Again

When I posted my last Five-Minute Friday, I think I left out one of the rules.  Yes we all write for five minutes on the same topic, no editing, just writing.  But we also are told "you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments."  This leads to a lot of encouragement from different people - because there's no way you can read just one.  I hope you all will take a minute and check out Lisa Jo Baker's Five-Minute Fridays.

This week's topic - "again." 

"It’s Saturday morning. As I make my way down the hall to the kitchen I can’t help but feel I’ve been here before. I believe it was just last week. I see little boys scattered on the floor and furniture, each asleep where he fell. I begin my routine of picking up wrappers and empty juice bottles. Putting away toy trucks and toy guns before little feet step on them in their sleepy stumbles. I clean up dirty dishes left from after-midnight snacks. I collect the dirty socks and shirts to be washed. I sweep up leaves and dirt tracked in after a game of hide and seek in the dark. I fix their breakfast as they each come alive in their blanket cocoons. Then they are up and dressed and out the door again. And I’m left to repeat the process. As I finish , they come in with their stories of bike riding and hiking through the woods, tracking in more mud and leaves, piling up dirty socks and shoes and coats with signs of their adventures, and asking for lunch. And I think to myself, "Here we go again." I think back to another time like this. I’ve done it all before with the two that came before him. I’ve done 12-year-old girl drama. I’ve done 12-year-old boy stories of skateboard accomplishments. And I think, this time with more excitement and apprehension, confidence and worry, "Here we go again.""

"Dive"

As you know, I've joined a community of writers at a place called "Five-Minute Friday."  In case I haven't told you, it's a weekly post on a blog by Lisa Jo Baker.  The concept is that everybody posts (or links to their own blog post) on the same topic.  The rule is that we type for five minutes, no editing, barely proofing, just writing.  This week's topic was "Dive."  I admit it was a hard one for me, but this is my attempt:

"How can I spend five whole minutes writing about a word I don’t fully understand. Dive. I never learned to swim (at least effectively). I have no idea how to dive, the whole concept of going head-first into water is beyond me. So what do I do? Just sit at the keyboard and write whatever comes to mind. That’s what I’ll try. Maybe just opening my mind to let the words in will start the juices flowing again. Much like jumping into a pool of water would get your blood your adrenalin pumping. So that’s what I’ll try. Just type. Just dive in to the word pool and see what overflows. I can immerse myself in the writing, lose myself in creativity. Who knows, I might even learn to keep myself afloat with the words of my thoughts."

If you want to check out other writers' posts or join in yourself, click here to see what it's all about.

Five-Minute Friday - Opportunity

OK, I know it's Tuesday, but I'm just now getting caught up on all my email.  This is Lisa Jo Baker's Five-Minute Friday for January 4, 2013.  The topic - opportunity:

"There’s something about the month of December that brings out the best and the worst in me. The more I try to concentrate on Jesus as "the reason for the season," the harder the evil one tries to convince me I am too busy for such things. He reminds me how much I have to do, how little time I have to do it in, and how little money I have to do it with. I am in a giving and forgiving mood, but also upset that everybody doesn’t
share my sentiment that every day is an opportunity to show God’s love.

December also marks the end of the year. Time to look back and see all that I’ve accomplished (or failed to accomplish) in the past twelve months. Opportunities missed. Opportunities taken. Opportunities not seen. Opportunities seen but let pass by. But as I stand here at the beginning of a new year, I see a blank sheet. A story waiting to be written. What opportunities await me? Am I more aware of them now? I am excited. I am scared. What if I fail? What if I don’t? The moments are priceless. The opportunities are endless."

Hope you all are having a wonderful New Year so far!

Merry Christmas!

     The end of the Mayan calendar (a/k/a the end of the world) coincided a little close to Christmas.  As we sat at home, Doom's Day Eve, discussing the matter, my husband asked me, "Is that why you brought home [take out] for supper?"  "Of course.  I'm not spending my last day on earth cooking."
     Then my youngest has the bright idea that "since we won't be here on Christmas, we should open all our gifts now!"  I try to explain to him that it wouldn't matter if he did open his gifts early, he wouldn't get to take them with him when the world ends [tomorrow].  "Yeah, but I can play with them tonight...while I'm here."   hahaha.
     Well, the world didn't end, and the closer it got to Christmas and "the reason for the season," a deeper meaning in my son's statement came to me. 

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son,

that whosoever believeth in him should not perish,

but have everlasting life." John 3:16

 

God has given us a gift, His son Jesus Christ.  We have accepted that gift and it sits under our tree.  But we choose not to open it until the appointed time.  We spend our days looking at the beautiful wrapping, excited that it's all ours, wondering what's on the inside, anticipating the day when we get to Heaven and can unwrap it.  Then we will see all the love and joy and peace...all the things God promised us brought to life.

 

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and

cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness,

neither shadow of turning."   James 1:17

 

     But, what if we were impatient?  What if we didn't wait to open the gift?  What if we got so excited we just had to have it now?!  Well...we can!  In fact, God wants us to open our gifts as soon as we get them.  We can unwrap them all and have love, joy and peace while we're here!  And He wants us to use them immediately.  Not set them up on a shelf out of harm's way, just collecting dust, never doing what they were intended to do - be shared with our friends and family. 

"Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again."  Luke 6:38

 

The more we share, the more "toys" we get!  We don't have to wait till we get to Heaven!  Amazing!

     Plus - these things you can actually take with you when you go!

 

no answers

     It’s 7:30 on a rainy Monday morning. I just dropped my son off at school. How can something so simple, an ordinary everyday part of my routine, weigh so heavy on my mind. I could say I know he will be safe, that he will have a good day, that nothing will go wrong. You might say I’m just being overprotective or a worry-wart. But the thoughts of the happenings of last Friday are still fresh on my mind. I’m sure the parents of those children were just doing their everyday thing, believing their children would be safe and happy at school. But that wasn’t how it was.
     I can’t even begin to imagine how those families must feel - and honestly, I don’t want to. I don’t understand how things like this can take place. I know there are bad people in this world and that bad things happen every day. But this....not like this. I just can’t wrap my head around it all. It makes me just want to get everybody I love and care about and put them in one place and make them stay there. Safe. But I know I can’t do that. I can’t dwell on the what if’s or the why’s or how’s. My life must go on, and the lives of my children, my family and friends. I can’t live in fear of what might happen. We can’t let the bad people win.
     But what’s the answer to stop it all? I don’t think banning guns is the way to go. I have no problem with responsible people owning guns. I believe we have the right to protect ourselves. I believe there should be, and probably already are, procedures and requirements to obtain a gun. I don’t, however, believe a person should be able to buy an automatic assault rifle at their local Wal-mart. I think there should be different, maybe stricter, restrictions on those types of firearms. What those should be or how they are to be enacted and enforced, I don’t know.
     I also believe there could be a change or two made in the way mental illness is handled. I think more can be done for these people at a younger age when the signs are first noticed. And I don’t think a few days in a hospital to regulate some medication or a threat of jail is always the right thing to do. Again, I’m no expert in those things, so I can offer no real suggestion on what or how that can be done.
     As I talk this out, I guess I’m left with just a lot of questions, but I can offer no answers. I read a facebook status last night that I thought was very true. It was directed at all those who were saying we never should have taken prayer (and, in effect, God) out of schools. This person pointed out that if you have raised a God-fearing child, He never left. I believe God was in that school in Connecticut. He was with those innocent children and took them to Heaven to live with Him, away from the bad people. I can only hope the adults were as ready to go.  I have to put my faith in that God.  Faith that He will be with my children, wherever they are, and that He has their best interests at heart and can protect them more than I ever could. 
     My prayers continue to go up for the families of those who lost loved ones. I pray for the children who lived through it and will forever have this tragedy as part of their memories. For the family of the man who did this. I pray God will send peace into a small town made the center of media attention. And, in time, forgiveness to the hearts that need it.  In Jesus' name, Amen.

Five-Minute Friday: Thank You

Well, here I am doing a "Five-Minute Friday" on Monday.  I hope you all had a wonderfully blessed Thanksgiving weekend!  This week's topic is appropriately "Thank You."  You can check out all the Thanksgiving inspiration of these talented writers at Lisa Jo's website.  For now, here's what I have:

It has almost become a game. Tiny hands picking up pennies off the floor and putting them in my hand. I say "THANK YOU!" like I have just been given the grandest of treasures. This makes the baby smile, and the game continues, each time little hands putting all they can hold into my hands that can hold so much more. And when all the pennies are picked up, again I say, "Thank you!" for a job well done. As the day goes on, there are many more "Thank you’s" to be said for so many little things. Now we sit, all wrapped in a blanket, with a sippy cup of milk. The lights are off and we watch cartoons as this little one tries hard to stay awake. Then I hear soft even breathing as this little bundle relaxes and gives in to sleep. And I have to say another "Thank you!" This time to God above for giving me such a precious gift.