HELP!

     How do they do it? Those women with the clean houses and orderly kids (or vice versa), work a job, make it to all family events, visit with friends, have breakfast with God, lunch with the girls and dinner out with the hubby. I don’t understand. They have the same 24 hours a day I do, and I have almost none of that.
     The inspirational "help" books I’ve read say to get up earlier and spend time with God first. My spiritual side knows that if I do this, God will bless me and make it all work out. My flesh tells me if I get up any earlier I might as well not go to bed. And if I do try it, I will be so sleepy I will either doze off and end up being late, or I won’t be awake enough for it to do any good. The typical battle of flesh v. spirit.
     Other so-called "help" books say to stay up and do it after putting the kids to bed. That would be great if my kids went to bed at 7:30! I get home from work 5:30 to 6:00, have supper done around 6:45, eat, clean up the kitchen, help with homework (during school months), wash/dry/fold/put up laundry, straighten up the main areas of the house, run to the store if we need milk before morning, and so on. My goal is to have the kids in the bed at 9:30, who knows what time they actually go to sleep. And, for you adult readers, I’m married (‘nuff said?). I’m always up way past the kids going to bed, which makes getting up earlier that much harder.
     Just getting up, getting ready and making it out the door on time is a great accomplishment. The (first) alarm goes off at 5:00, the second at 5:30. On a good day, I get up then. If not, I’m at least up by 6. And it takes me an hour and a half to get ready - shower, coffee, makeup, hair, in that order. During school, throw in getting kids up and fed and out the door on time for school.  Usually I leave home at 7:30, or 7:45 at the latest, to be at work at 8:00. Why on earth does it take so long? I’ve wondered that myself. I’ve tried to cut corners, find quicker ways of doing things, even skipping a step. All it does is leave me fidgety because I’m out of my routine. It ends up taking me longer to do less, plus leaves me feeling "undone" for the rest of the day. I’ve found a process that works, and I’m sticking to it. No apologies.
     Setting aside a special day to take care of the big jobs, like cleaning, sounds like a good plan. I took a Saturday morning recently and did a quick (but good) dust, vacuum, sweep, clean bathrooms, get down cobwebs. Things looked good and I felt accomplished. That night - I see a cobweb hanging from the tv to the wall. Are you kidding me?!!! Why do I bother?!!! I know that was not there when I cleaned earlier because I got every possible and impossible place they could be. I got rid of that one and looked for any more I may have missed (or that had sprung up since that morning). I found several. So much for a leisurely Saturday night.
     On those rare occasions when time seems to be on my side and I try to squeeze in some family time or a game night or just do some visiting, that means something usually doesn’t get done. Skipping a night of laundry to do something fun does not work. It just means that in the morning somebody will "have nothing to wear," and I’ll have twice as much to do tomorrow night. Delegate? Yeah right! Reward for helping? No money to pay with. Pitch a fit and make them help? They do the worst job possible just for spite, which leads to....well let’s not incriminate ourselves.
     It’s a vicious cycle, and it’s taking its toll. Right now I don’t care if I get off the couch when I get home. I don’t want to; I don’t feel like it; get it yourself. We went to the beach for five days a couple weeks ago. I made it to the sand maybe four times, and actually got in the water all of twice. I did get to spend a lot of time with my family; however, it was not the physically and spiritually refreshing, regrouping vacation I was hoping for. I did a lot of sitting around, but not really resting. I actually wanted to be doing something. It just took too much effort.
     Unfortunately, I feel like I do better when I have a full plate. It means I have to get out of bed every morning and make myself presentable for the world. When I try to prioritize and let go of things that are not essential to my spiritual and/or physical well-being - what do I let go of? I know the world won’t fall apart if I don’t do everything myself, but I don’t want to take any chances.
     Let me clarify that this is not a pity party. This is not a case of simply feeling sorry for myself. God is very real to me right now. I have done my very best to put him first in everything I do. He has answered a lot prayers for me in the past week alone. I know I am blessed beyond measure, and I have things a lot better than a lot of people. There are just some things in my life that I can’t seem to get organized, or under control, or let loose, or kept the same, or changed, or whatever. Maybe I need help. Maybe this is normal. I don’t know. Maybe I just needed to ramble to try to sort this out and maybe get some new insight.
     I feel like I need the equivalent of Super Nanny for time management. Somebody to come go through my day with me, see everything I do, then critique and tell me what I’m doing wrong and what needs to change. ‘Cause small changes don’t seem to be working for me. They are too close to not changing at all. I think I need to make major changes. Life-changing changes. I need help, but don’t know where to turn. Do I need a maid, a doctor, a child behavioral specialist, a psychiatrist? It all sounds so scary!   I'm hoping for some advice from all you ladies (and gentlemen) who have this all figured out! 
     Thank you in advance.

Surf's Up, Dude!

     When we told Dylan we were going to the beach for vacation this year, all he wanted to do was buy a board and catch some waves.  I tried to explain to him that you don’t get real surfing-type waves at Gulf Shores, but he was determined to ride them.  He finally conceded to skimming over the shallow water on a boogie board.  Now that was his mission.     
     I know I have been to the beach several times in my life, but I really only remember the last trip, summer of 2009, and I was ready to go again.  Floating on the waves during that trip was so relaxing and spiritual.  I felt a connection with God there like I had not felt anywhere else.  Thoughts about being out so far your feet don’t touch the bottom and you have to depend on your float to hold you up and carry you back to the shore.  When my feet couldn’t touch, I did not have control of where I went.  I just had to ride the waves to wherever they took me.  That was the lesson I needed then.
     So this trip I was looking for another spiritual awakening.  Surely there’s another lesson on those waves, maybe even a good blog post (since I haven’t written anything in a while).  Teaching the boys how to swim out and ride the waves back in.  To not panic and just enjoy the ride.  And when you land on the shore, just walk back to our spot on the beach.  No big deal.  Or maybe watching them learn to ride those boogie boards.  I have no expertise in that area (surprise, surprise), and they could watch those who seem to know what they’re doing and get some pointers from them.  Teaching them to respect other people’s property.  Very few places you can actually just leave all your stuff laying in a pile under a tent for days at a time and nobody bother it.  And even if they do borrow the little plastic shovel and bucket, they bring it back.   Buy if they didn’t, there’s no hard feelings anywhere.  Can’t even get that kind of peace in my own  yard at home.
     So I was looking for inspiration in everybody else’s circumstances, but I never thought I would get another lesson while doing the exact same thing as before, riding the waves.   I was determined to paddle myself out into the deeper water, where my feet don’t touch the ground, and just lean back and relax.  I pointed my float in the direction I wanted to go, paddled my arms, kicked my feet.  Nothing.  Still in the same spot.  Hmm.  That’s odd.  I tried again.  Same thing.  Now this is getting embarrassing, and I’m getting a little tired.  “Try one more time,” my mind told me.  This time it seemed like the water was helping me.  It felt like something under the water was pulling me out further and further.  “Alright!” I thought.  “Maybe I’ll finally get somewhere and I can enjoy myself out here like last time.”  But a little ways out, I realized what was happening.  Whatever was under the water pulling me out, was making the deep water deeper.  It was feeding the swell that would become the next big wave.  All of a sudden, I was lifted and moved.  I thought I had landed back where I started, but I was actually closer to the shore than when I started.
      So what lesson did I learn?  Be careful of those currents under the surface you can’t see.  They may appear to be helping you get where you want to go, but in reality they are only helping to grow something far bigger than you.  Something that will send you crashing back to the shore.  There to find comfort in your beach chair, shelter under a tent, and safety in the arms of your beach towel – I mean God.