To Move or Not To Move?

     If you come to my church you will find me sitting on the right-hand side on the second pew. I don’t say that in a way to sound like I’m any better than anybody else. It’s simply a fact. I sit there because I can see and hear the preacher better. I have tried sitting further back, and even on the stage up front. But I find myself paying more attention to the people in the congregation than anything else. Who’s talking to who, who’s getting on to their kids, who’s coming in late, who’s going to the bathroom. Too many distractions. So, I sit on the second pew.
     A few Sundays ago, the preacher giving the morning devotion stood and asked everybody to move toward the front. If you were sitting in the back pews, move to the pews up front. Just as at a sporting event, the spectators are more enthusiastic when they sit crowded in groups instead of spread throughout the stadium. But surely he wasn’t talking to me. After all, I sit on the second pew. Several people did move closer, probably as much out of their comfort zones as I would have been had I sat anywhere else. I, however, did not feel the need to move. I was already pretty close to the front. The second pew, you know. So I moved my stuff and made room for my new pew-mates, and tried to make them as welcome as I possibly could.
     We had a wonderful service that morning! It was nice to worship the Lord surrounded by those I don’t usually have the pleasure of sitting with. The Spirit was flowing, and I was thoroughly enjoying everything that was said and/or sung. Everything, that is, until the Lord interrupted my service and opened my eyes to the fact that I could be closer. I took that to mean physically. I tried to argue, "Lord I’m on the second pew! Can’t get much closer than that!"
     The Lord’s response put a halt to my arguing. "Exactly! Did you hear what you just said?!" (He was using my own words against me.) "I’m on the second pew."  There was a pew in front of me. I could have gotten closer. Not just physically, but spiritually. Truth be told, there were three pews on the stage I could have moved forward to. (I was beginning to see the error of my logic.) Then He showed me the altar. No matter how close I thought I was, I could always go to the altar and get closer. While I can be in His presence anywhere, whether it be on my second pew, further back in the next to the last pew, or even up on stage, at the altar I can actually get in His arms. That’s how close I want to be.

Ready and Willing?

     My "Message From God" on facebook this morning was this, "On this day of your life, we believe God wants you to know that humans learn only by trial and error, and that includes you. You’ve got to live life, not think about it. Step into the midst of things, try and fail and learn and stand up again. The question is not whether you will or will not make mistakes - you will. The question is do you want to learn and grow, or do you want to shrink back and be stuck? Take that step you’ve been avoiding. You can succeed, or you can get feedback that it didn’t work, but in either case you are sure to feel alive."     
     That reminded me of a devotion I heard the other day that has really had me thinking. I’m not sure what the speaker was trying to relay to the congregation, but I know what I received out of it. How often do I sit and wait for God to give me something to do before I go to work for Him? The Bible tells me I am to "prepare [my] heart" and "be ready always." That was me, ready and willing should the time come. I find myself waiting on some big sign or some big thing He all but forces me to do before I am willing to do anything.
     Take this blog for instance. I really felt like God had something for me to say. He always seemed to be giving me these messages that I felt like I just had to write down, whether that writing was seen by anybody or not. My computer was filled with little "devotionettes." (That computer has since crashed and those are no longer with us.) The problem was that those messages usually came while I was in the shower or putting on my makeup or driving down the road. Not the easiest places to simply take out pen and paper and start writing. But instead of doing that very thing, just stop what I was doing and start writing, I became aggravated. "Lord why can’t you give me these things when I’m in a position to take it down?" "Not now Lord, let me get to the computer." "Lord you know I can’t write that fast, my hand will cramp up, and my home computer is broken. Wait till tomorrow when I’m back at work so I can type it."
     But do you know what happened? Every time I was in front of the computer and had a few minutes to spare, I was either working, or checking my personal email, or seeing how my friends on facebook are doing. I had no notion of listening for anything God might be saying to me. I figured if He had something He wanted me to put in writing, He’d give it to me. Surely I would have a feeling so profound it would be a "do or die" situation. It didn’t occur to me that maybe He was waiting for me to make myself available. Maybe I need to make the first step and show Him that I am willing to be used, and have the faith that He would provide the opportunity and the means for me to carry out what He has for me to do.
     So this morning, I decided to try. One of two things will happen. Either God will come on the scene and this attempt will be successful, or I will type this and it be meant for nobody but me. A lesson in faith. Now, in between answering the phone and checking my email (which I have to do quite frequently as part of my work), while I drink my coffee and prioritize my day, I am sitting at my computer, fingers poised and ready to type. I am making myself available and open to receive what God has to say to me. I’m thinking that should be my top priority today. After all, His messages usually come quickly and I am able to create a writing in only a matter of minutes. Hopefully when I pass it on to you it will be in a way you can understand. (Sometimes He still talks faster than I can type.)

"Be Still and Know That I Am God"

(Completely random thoughts - no editing whatsoever.  I apologize if it seems scrambled.)

     "Be still and know that I am God." That’s the phrase that went through my mind this morning when I woke up to my third day of the room spinning. Vertigo. That’s what the doctor had said. I believe it was God’s way of making me be still because I didn’t listen the first time he told me. I thought I was doing pretty good at keeping my stress level down. My mind was beginning to clear. I wasn’t letting things pile up. I seemed to be getting things done without having to rush. I even spent some time just sitting on the front porch, drinking my coffee, then taking the kids to the pool for a while. I thought that’s what He wanted. For me to settle my brain and clear my thinking. Surely He didn’t mean for me to literally be still. There are things to be done. I thought He was clearing my thoughts so I could accomplish them better.
     "Be still and know that I am God." I wasn’t sure if that was actual scripture from the Bible or just something I’ve heard said so many times it seems like gospel. So I looked it up. Sure enough, right there in Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth." And whaddaya know! The command to be "still" is in the scripture several other places! Like Exodus 14:13, "And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will shew to you to day..." And Numbers 9:8, "And Moses said unto them, Stand still, and I will hear what the LORD will command concerning you." Ruth 3:18 says, "Then said she, Sit still, my daughter, until thou know how the matter will fall..." And of course there’s Job 37:14, "Hearken unto this, O Job: stand still, and consider the wondrous works of God." There are even scriptures that tell of the earth, the sun and the moon standing still. And Matthew and Mark tell us that "Jesus stood still." All these people had to be still to hear, know, consider and see what God had for them to do. Why should I be any different?
     So then I decided I would look up the word "still" and get a more clear definition. Dictionary.com says this, "(1) remaining in place or at rest; motionless... (2) free from sound or noise... (4) free from turbulence or commotion; peaceful; tranquil; calm... (5) without waves or perceptible current."  Hmm...motionless... without motion. With vertigo, that’s not a problem. If I move, I go one way and the room goes another. Free from sound or noise...turbulence or commotion. This one is a little harder. There are certain things around me that I have no control over - the phone ringing, people talking. Without waves or perceptible current. Have you ever noticed still water? Where there are absolutely no waves visible? Very often it shows a reflection of the sky and nearby surroundings. It can be quite beautiful.
     So...let’s review. When God told me to "be still," he wasn’t just talking about my mind, my inner thoughts. Could it be he meant for me to physically not move. How is that even possible?! I don’t understand!! As I lay in bed with the furniture, walls and ceiling swirling around me, I tried to focus on one central object. Maybe if I can just get my eyes fixed on a certain spot, everything else will fall back into place. But I couldn’t do it. My eyes would not fix on that one spot. They kept floating around, rolling and swirling with everything else. That made me feel worse, so I just closed them. All I could do was pray, "Lord make this go away."
     "Be still and know that I am God." When everything seems to be careening out of control, I am to be completely still, no moving, no thinking, no trying to focus on what I think I need to be focusing on. Just close my eyes and let God have full control. That’s the only way my world will stop spinning.