Show & Tell

     I have learned a very humbling lesson during my "spring cleaning" the past few weeks. I have learned my limitations. I have learned that I am capable of doing more than I thought I could. My patience has been tried. My stick-with-it-ness has been tested. I am glad to say that I have made great progress in both my physical cleaning and my spiritual cleaning. But it hasn’t been easy.
     It’s not easy to clean a room with three men/boys trapsing through continuously. It’s not easy to keep your thoughts on God when the tv is blaring in the other room. And it’s extremely frustrating when you leave the windows up to let in the breeze and your husband decides that’s the perfect time to stir up the dust outside (by that I mean mow the yard). I guess things will need to be dusted again sooner than I had hoped. I could feel the rope slipping through my hands, no knot in sight, and I prayed I wouldn’t have to "break bad on some people" (as my son would say).
     So, imagine my surprise when I got home from work yesterday and found the shop-vac sitting beside the front door. My initial thought was, "Oh no, what did they break now?" But when I turned to close the door, I also noticed the clean windows. I glanced over to the living room window, and it too was sparkly. I looked at my husband (trying to look like he was really into the tv and totally ignoring my reaction) and said, "Good job!" His smile told me just how proud he was of himself. But then reality check - he said, "Well that wasn’t the response I was expecting." I asked him what response he was looking for exactly. "Well I don’t know, but it wasn’t good." I know I complain a lot, but really?!
     He went on to explain how he and my son had cleaned the windows and vacuumed all the stuff out of the window sills in the living room. (I know that sounds gross, but it should give you an idea of just how dirty my house had gotten.) Then my old self started talking, "Why did you stop? It’s not even 6:00 and there are plenty of other windows you could have done. You’ve got three hours till bedtime." Whoa, girl! Where’s your mercy? "But it took me an hour and a half to do this much." His smile was gone.  I had just let the air out of his bubble, and I felt horrible. "I’m sorry. It looks good. Thank you." He promptly carried my son’s dirty dishes from that morning to the sink, threw away his own trash and put his empty Dr. Pepper cans in the bin out back.  Smiling again.
     Later, as I was walking the track with my sister-in-law, it occurred to me that this whole cleaning thing - my goal for my house to be the way I want it - it’s not about me. Ok, it’s not just about me. I realized that what I was doing was starting to affect those around me, and maybe this time not for the worse.  My boys are starting to pick up after themselves more.  They help more readily than before.  Things are more settled and routine.  Peaceful if you will.
     I have learned a lot, but God still has more to teach me.  I guess it’s time I start showing instead of just telling.  After all, I'm not in kindergarten anymore.