My evaluation

Noticing the trees that are blooming around my house this week, I remembered something I wrote a couple winters ago and my spiritual condition at that time.  I feel I have grown quite a bit in my walk with the Lord since then, but it's always good to stop and evaluate things from time to time.  Seems like I run across this from time to time and it reminds me to do just that, no matter what time of year it is:

     I love the fall season. For me it’s a time to sit back and reflect on the year so far. What have I accomplished? What can I do or what do I need to do before the year ends? And I love the weather. Not too hot, not too cold. "Football weather." But most of all, I think I love watching the leaves change colors. Looking at the trees just seems to make every trip a little more enjoyable. And then it hit me, in a brief moment of clarity this week, that the trees are not unlike me.
     In the spring, I have a great desire to grow in the Lord. I have such high hopes and I set, what I believe to be, very attainable goals for myself. Then I have about six months to make something of myself (so to speak). Then the fall comes. It’s harvest time. Time to reap what I have sown. Have I received (accepted) all the nutrients I need to grow? What colors will my leaves be? Will they be full and vibrant and remain on my limbs during the strong winds? Or will they be few and dull and fall off in the slightest breeze? This year, I’m afraid I fit into the latter category. My summer was dry, I didn’t receive (accept) a lot of the water I needed, and now my leaves look pitiful. They are not the wonderful colors I was expecting, and my limbs are already almost empty. I look at the trees outside my window. There are a lot of trees in this condition.
     But look closely. In amongst all those bare limbs stands a tree whose colors are so bright and the leaves are so strong, I know God alone could have done this. It makes me look closer at the Christians around me who seem to be so strong, even in the worst of times. And it becomes clear to me that these people were willing to do for God what I was not. They were willing to simply soak up God’s blessings while I was busy questioning them. They were willing to stand when I was too shy.
     Now that I have realized the shape I’m in, as I stand shivering in the cold, I make amends to my God. I pray I remember where I am now when I plant my seeds next spring, while I tend and feed my soul, and as I prepare for the harvest. And, in this very moment, I can rest assured that I will spend the winter safe and warm in the arms of the Lord.