God's Facebook Page

     "What’s on your mind?" That’s what appears at the top of the screen when I open my facebook page. Sometimes that’s a very good question. We all want our update status to sound clever or funny or insightful. The one that has the most comments and likes, or maybe even the occasional share. To be what everybody’s talking about. "Hey, did you read so-n-so’s facebook? Was that not just amazing?" or, "Did you see what son-n-so is doing today? That sounds like fun." or even, "Can you believe what so-n-so’s kid said to her?!" The prayer requests, the birthday wishes, the photo captions. It can all be good if used properly.
     As parents, most of our posts probably revolve around our children. Something funny they’ve said or some goal they’ve achieved. And we try not to embarrass them because we know when we "tag" them their friends will see it too. But what about when the roles are reversed, and the parent becomes the subject of the teen’s update status? Not usually a good thing. As was the case with my son last night.
     We all have bad habits or get ourselves into situations sometimes that could be very embarrassing if they were made public. Without going into any detail, I’ll simply say that my son came into the living room and said, "What if I took a picture of this and put it on facebook, just to see what comments we’d get." My eyes flew wide and I calmly told him no. When he proceeded to take his phone out of his pocket, my brow deepened and my reply was more of a threatening growled "no." Now don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t anything major, but it wasn’t something I wanted posted for the world to see either. He just laughed and said, "That would be embarrassing wouldn’t it?!" Ya think!
     He put his phone back in his pocket and walked away laughing. But it left me thinking, what if God had a facebook?! As our father, would His posts be mostly about us, His children? Would He have anything good to tell? How do you think He would fill in the blanks:

• "Movie night! We’re watching ________."
• "Riding down the road with my daughter, singing _________ at the top of our lungs!"
• "Quiet evening at home with my son watching ______ on tv."
• "Sunday morning church with my family. This afternoon I think we will _______."
• "Tucking my babies into bed tonight. Read them _______ before they fell asleep."
• "My daughter just told me the best story - ________."

     I’m ashamed to say God may not have much to post about me, and some of what He did could be as embarrassing as that picture my son would have taken. I thought about all the other things I do that I wouldn’t want made public. Things that only the closest of my closest friends know. The tv show I love to watch, even though there are a few scenarios I shouldn’t allow myself to see. The music I enjoy listening to that sometimes doesn’t have the best message. The book I’ll read at bedtime instead of doing my bible study.
     After I calmed down, I realized my son’s phone doesn’t have the capability to post pictures directly to facebook, so I probably could have called his bluff and gotten away with it. But I wouldn’t want to take that chance. Some things are private for a reason.  And the friend that matters most has more than just a facebook view of my life.  Yikes!

Growing Pains

     It’s that time of year again. Back to school. And with that comes new school clothes. That’s usually the time when I can really tell how much my kids have grown over the past year, by how short their jeans are, at least the ones that weren't cut off and made into shorts for the summer. Jeans and shoes can get pretty expensive! Thankfully Emily is buying her own clothes now, and Josh has at least leveled off on his height, hopefully, for a while.
     This year, though, it seems like everybody is needing something new. Although Josh doesn’t seem to have gotten any taller, his waste size is smaller. His jeans from last year are way too big, plus he’s worked in them all summer. Jeans, shoes and socks for him. Dylan has hit the age when a lot of boys take a big growing spell. His jeans from last year...well let’s just say we haven’t had quite that much rain; and he has finally put on a little weight in his upper body, so his shirts are looking too small. His shoes still fit, but they are wore slap out. Looks like a little bit of everything for him. And Alan - do I dare go there? (I’ll tread lightly.) Since he quit smoking a few months ago (applause), he has put on a few pounds. While he usually gets all new clothes for Christmas, I believe he may need some before then when the first cold weather hits. As for me, the scales have been kind, nothing gained, but nothing lost either. My clothes, however, tell a different story. While the whole may weigh the same, the pieces have shifted slightly, but not enough that would warrant spending a lot of money to replace perfectly good clothes. (But we’ll see.)
     The Lord showed me something this week about how I could relate all this to our spiritual lives. We all live in the same house, and we basically have the same needs, but all for different reasons. Let me see if I can explain.
     Josh is needing a smaller waste size. In order to lose weight, you have to burn more calories than you take in. In the spiritual world, that could be accomplished one of two ways. One, you give more than you take. Two, you just don’t "eat" enough to begin with. According to my grocery bill, nobody in our family is going hungry, so I attribute Josh’s change to the fact that he is maturing into a fine young man, willing to work at every opportunity and willing to help anybody he can. While his outside may not appear to be as much, the inside is filling in and growing stronger.
     Dylan has started growing just all over (physically and spiritually). I remember when Josh was about his age, the clothes we bought when school started were too small by Christmastime, and he needed all new clothes again. I have a feeling that will be the case with Dylan this year. He was saved at Bible Camp a few weeks ago (again, applause) and now seems more willing to learn, and more able to understand, when valuable lessons can be taught. He is taking a lot in, as he should at this age. He gives what he can, but it will take a little more growing before he is able to give it all back.
     Again treading lightly, I approach the subject of my husband. Weight gain is a sure sign of taking in more than you use. I’m sure with all that’s gone on over the last few years, his soul has been changed. He has taken a lot in, and it’s starting to show. I have faith and know that we will eventually see the results of that inward transformation.
     Now we come to the dreaded personal observations. I am sad to say that my attempts to lose weight and exercise have not accomplished what I had hoped. However there have been some results. I may not have dropped any sizes, but the size I wear now fits differently. I guess that would mean I have given out as much as I’ve taken in, equally. And I feel like I’ve taken in a lot! I have heard the Word preached in ways I’ve never heard, seen the Spirit move in ways I’ve never seen, and felt things I’ve never felt. I have more of a desire to not only listen to inspirational teachings, but to share them. When I have a revelation that helps me, I feel like I should pass it on to the next person so maybe it can help them too. But, while all that is fine in itself, at some point I would like to be able to share some of my own personal experiences more, and hopefully start the inspiration chain.
     Over the past 22 years, my husband and I have changed quite a bit.  We have both put on a few pounds, and we are seeing more gray hairs every day. We are the parents now of three individuals. We have marveled at their growth and accomplishments. We have nursed them through scrapes, sprains, broken bones and broken hearts. Life is constantly changing, and we are always evolving. My prayer is that we lean on God, listen to what He has to say, go where He leads, and learn through our growing pains. 

HELP!

     How do they do it? Those women with the clean houses and orderly kids (or vice versa), work a job, make it to all family events, visit with friends, have breakfast with God, lunch with the girls and dinner out with the hubby. I don’t understand. They have the same 24 hours a day I do, and I have almost none of that.
     The inspirational "help" books I’ve read say to get up earlier and spend time with God first. My spiritual side knows that if I do this, God will bless me and make it all work out. My flesh tells me if I get up any earlier I might as well not go to bed. And if I do try it, I will be so sleepy I will either doze off and end up being late, or I won’t be awake enough for it to do any good. The typical battle of flesh v. spirit.
     Other so-called "help" books say to stay up and do it after putting the kids to bed. That would be great if my kids went to bed at 7:30! I get home from work 5:30 to 6:00, have supper done around 6:45, eat, clean up the kitchen, help with homework (during school months), wash/dry/fold/put up laundry, straighten up the main areas of the house, run to the store if we need milk before morning, and so on. My goal is to have the kids in the bed at 9:30, who knows what time they actually go to sleep. And, for you adult readers, I’m married (‘nuff said?). I’m always up way past the kids going to bed, which makes getting up earlier that much harder.
     Just getting up, getting ready and making it out the door on time is a great accomplishment. The (first) alarm goes off at 5:00, the second at 5:30. On a good day, I get up then. If not, I’m at least up by 6. And it takes me an hour and a half to get ready - shower, coffee, makeup, hair, in that order. During school, throw in getting kids up and fed and out the door on time for school.  Usually I leave home at 7:30, or 7:45 at the latest, to be at work at 8:00. Why on earth does it take so long? I’ve wondered that myself. I’ve tried to cut corners, find quicker ways of doing things, even skipping a step. All it does is leave me fidgety because I’m out of my routine. It ends up taking me longer to do less, plus leaves me feeling "undone" for the rest of the day. I’ve found a process that works, and I’m sticking to it. No apologies.
     Setting aside a special day to take care of the big jobs, like cleaning, sounds like a good plan. I took a Saturday morning recently and did a quick (but good) dust, vacuum, sweep, clean bathrooms, get down cobwebs. Things looked good and I felt accomplished. That night - I see a cobweb hanging from the tv to the wall. Are you kidding me?!!! Why do I bother?!!! I know that was not there when I cleaned earlier because I got every possible and impossible place they could be. I got rid of that one and looked for any more I may have missed (or that had sprung up since that morning). I found several. So much for a leisurely Saturday night.
     On those rare occasions when time seems to be on my side and I try to squeeze in some family time or a game night or just do some visiting, that means something usually doesn’t get done. Skipping a night of laundry to do something fun does not work. It just means that in the morning somebody will "have nothing to wear," and I’ll have twice as much to do tomorrow night. Delegate? Yeah right! Reward for helping? No money to pay with. Pitch a fit and make them help? They do the worst job possible just for spite, which leads to....well let’s not incriminate ourselves.
     It’s a vicious cycle, and it’s taking its toll. Right now I don’t care if I get off the couch when I get home. I don’t want to; I don’t feel like it; get it yourself. We went to the beach for five days a couple weeks ago. I made it to the sand maybe four times, and actually got in the water all of twice. I did get to spend a lot of time with my family; however, it was not the physically and spiritually refreshing, regrouping vacation I was hoping for. I did a lot of sitting around, but not really resting. I actually wanted to be doing something. It just took too much effort.
     Unfortunately, I feel like I do better when I have a full plate. It means I have to get out of bed every morning and make myself presentable for the world. When I try to prioritize and let go of things that are not essential to my spiritual and/or physical well-being - what do I let go of? I know the world won’t fall apart if I don’t do everything myself, but I don’t want to take any chances.
     Let me clarify that this is not a pity party. This is not a case of simply feeling sorry for myself. God is very real to me right now. I have done my very best to put him first in everything I do. He has answered a lot prayers for me in the past week alone. I know I am blessed beyond measure, and I have things a lot better than a lot of people. There are just some things in my life that I can’t seem to get organized, or under control, or let loose, or kept the same, or changed, or whatever. Maybe I need help. Maybe this is normal. I don’t know. Maybe I just needed to ramble to try to sort this out and maybe get some new insight.
     I feel like I need the equivalent of Super Nanny for time management. Somebody to come go through my day with me, see everything I do, then critique and tell me what I’m doing wrong and what needs to change. ‘Cause small changes don’t seem to be working for me. They are too close to not changing at all. I think I need to make major changes. Life-changing changes. I need help, but don’t know where to turn. Do I need a maid, a doctor, a child behavioral specialist, a psychiatrist? It all sounds so scary!   I'm hoping for some advice from all you ladies (and gentlemen) who have this all figured out! 
     Thank you in advance.

Surf's Up, Dude!

     When we told Dylan we were going to the beach for vacation this year, all he wanted to do was buy a board and catch some waves.  I tried to explain to him that you don’t get real surfing-type waves at Gulf Shores, but he was determined to ride them.  He finally conceded to skimming over the shallow water on a boogie board.  Now that was his mission.     
     I know I have been to the beach several times in my life, but I really only remember the last trip, summer of 2009, and I was ready to go again.  Floating on the waves during that trip was so relaxing and spiritual.  I felt a connection with God there like I had not felt anywhere else.  Thoughts about being out so far your feet don’t touch the bottom and you have to depend on your float to hold you up and carry you back to the shore.  When my feet couldn’t touch, I did not have control of where I went.  I just had to ride the waves to wherever they took me.  That was the lesson I needed then.
     So this trip I was looking for another spiritual awakening.  Surely there’s another lesson on those waves, maybe even a good blog post (since I haven’t written anything in a while).  Teaching the boys how to swim out and ride the waves back in.  To not panic and just enjoy the ride.  And when you land on the shore, just walk back to our spot on the beach.  No big deal.  Or maybe watching them learn to ride those boogie boards.  I have no expertise in that area (surprise, surprise), and they could watch those who seem to know what they’re doing and get some pointers from them.  Teaching them to respect other people’s property.  Very few places you can actually just leave all your stuff laying in a pile under a tent for days at a time and nobody bother it.  And even if they do borrow the little plastic shovel and bucket, they bring it back.   Buy if they didn’t, there’s no hard feelings anywhere.  Can’t even get that kind of peace in my own  yard at home.
     So I was looking for inspiration in everybody else’s circumstances, but I never thought I would get another lesson while doing the exact same thing as before, riding the waves.   I was determined to paddle myself out into the deeper water, where my feet don’t touch the ground, and just lean back and relax.  I pointed my float in the direction I wanted to go, paddled my arms, kicked my feet.  Nothing.  Still in the same spot.  Hmm.  That’s odd.  I tried again.  Same thing.  Now this is getting embarrassing, and I’m getting a little tired.  “Try one more time,” my mind told me.  This time it seemed like the water was helping me.  It felt like something under the water was pulling me out further and further.  “Alright!” I thought.  “Maybe I’ll finally get somewhere and I can enjoy myself out here like last time.”  But a little ways out, I realized what was happening.  Whatever was under the water pulling me out, was making the deep water deeper.  It was feeding the swell that would become the next big wave.  All of a sudden, I was lifted and moved.  I thought I had landed back where I started, but I was actually closer to the shore than when I started.
      So what lesson did I learn?  Be careful of those currents under the surface you can’t see.  They may appear to be helping you get where you want to go, but in reality they are only helping to grow something far bigger than you.  Something that will send you crashing back to the shore.  There to find comfort in your beach chair, shelter under a tent, and safety in the arms of your beach towel – I mean God.

To Move or Not To Move?

     If you come to my church you will find me sitting on the right-hand side on the second pew. I don’t say that in a way to sound like I’m any better than anybody else. It’s simply a fact. I sit there because I can see and hear the preacher better. I have tried sitting further back, and even on the stage up front. But I find myself paying more attention to the people in the congregation than anything else. Who’s talking to who, who’s getting on to their kids, who’s coming in late, who’s going to the bathroom. Too many distractions. So, I sit on the second pew.
     A few Sundays ago, the preacher giving the morning devotion stood and asked everybody to move toward the front. If you were sitting in the back pews, move to the pews up front. Just as at a sporting event, the spectators are more enthusiastic when they sit crowded in groups instead of spread throughout the stadium. But surely he wasn’t talking to me. After all, I sit on the second pew. Several people did move closer, probably as much out of their comfort zones as I would have been had I sat anywhere else. I, however, did not feel the need to move. I was already pretty close to the front. The second pew, you know. So I moved my stuff and made room for my new pew-mates, and tried to make them as welcome as I possibly could.
     We had a wonderful service that morning! It was nice to worship the Lord surrounded by those I don’t usually have the pleasure of sitting with. The Spirit was flowing, and I was thoroughly enjoying everything that was said and/or sung. Everything, that is, until the Lord interrupted my service and opened my eyes to the fact that I could be closer. I took that to mean physically. I tried to argue, "Lord I’m on the second pew! Can’t get much closer than that!"
     The Lord’s response put a halt to my arguing. "Exactly! Did you hear what you just said?!" (He was using my own words against me.) "I’m on the second pew."  There was a pew in front of me. I could have gotten closer. Not just physically, but spiritually. Truth be told, there were three pews on the stage I could have moved forward to. (I was beginning to see the error of my logic.) Then He showed me the altar. No matter how close I thought I was, I could always go to the altar and get closer. While I can be in His presence anywhere, whether it be on my second pew, further back in the next to the last pew, or even up on stage, at the altar I can actually get in His arms. That’s how close I want to be.

Ready and Willing?

     My "Message From God" on facebook this morning was this, "On this day of your life, we believe God wants you to know that humans learn only by trial and error, and that includes you. You’ve got to live life, not think about it. Step into the midst of things, try and fail and learn and stand up again. The question is not whether you will or will not make mistakes - you will. The question is do you want to learn and grow, or do you want to shrink back and be stuck? Take that step you’ve been avoiding. You can succeed, or you can get feedback that it didn’t work, but in either case you are sure to feel alive."     
     That reminded me of a devotion I heard the other day that has really had me thinking. I’m not sure what the speaker was trying to relay to the congregation, but I know what I received out of it. How often do I sit and wait for God to give me something to do before I go to work for Him? The Bible tells me I am to "prepare [my] heart" and "be ready always." That was me, ready and willing should the time come. I find myself waiting on some big sign or some big thing He all but forces me to do before I am willing to do anything.
     Take this blog for instance. I really felt like God had something for me to say. He always seemed to be giving me these messages that I felt like I just had to write down, whether that writing was seen by anybody or not. My computer was filled with little "devotionettes." (That computer has since crashed and those are no longer with us.) The problem was that those messages usually came while I was in the shower or putting on my makeup or driving down the road. Not the easiest places to simply take out pen and paper and start writing. But instead of doing that very thing, just stop what I was doing and start writing, I became aggravated. "Lord why can’t you give me these things when I’m in a position to take it down?" "Not now Lord, let me get to the computer." "Lord you know I can’t write that fast, my hand will cramp up, and my home computer is broken. Wait till tomorrow when I’m back at work so I can type it."
     But do you know what happened? Every time I was in front of the computer and had a few minutes to spare, I was either working, or checking my personal email, or seeing how my friends on facebook are doing. I had no notion of listening for anything God might be saying to me. I figured if He had something He wanted me to put in writing, He’d give it to me. Surely I would have a feeling so profound it would be a "do or die" situation. It didn’t occur to me that maybe He was waiting for me to make myself available. Maybe I need to make the first step and show Him that I am willing to be used, and have the faith that He would provide the opportunity and the means for me to carry out what He has for me to do.
     So this morning, I decided to try. One of two things will happen. Either God will come on the scene and this attempt will be successful, or I will type this and it be meant for nobody but me. A lesson in faith. Now, in between answering the phone and checking my email (which I have to do quite frequently as part of my work), while I drink my coffee and prioritize my day, I am sitting at my computer, fingers poised and ready to type. I am making myself available and open to receive what God has to say to me. I’m thinking that should be my top priority today. After all, His messages usually come quickly and I am able to create a writing in only a matter of minutes. Hopefully when I pass it on to you it will be in a way you can understand. (Sometimes He still talks faster than I can type.)

"Be Still and Know That I Am God"

(Completely random thoughts - no editing whatsoever.  I apologize if it seems scrambled.)

     "Be still and know that I am God." That’s the phrase that went through my mind this morning when I woke up to my third day of the room spinning. Vertigo. That’s what the doctor had said. I believe it was God’s way of making me be still because I didn’t listen the first time he told me. I thought I was doing pretty good at keeping my stress level down. My mind was beginning to clear. I wasn’t letting things pile up. I seemed to be getting things done without having to rush. I even spent some time just sitting on the front porch, drinking my coffee, then taking the kids to the pool for a while. I thought that’s what He wanted. For me to settle my brain and clear my thinking. Surely He didn’t mean for me to literally be still. There are things to be done. I thought He was clearing my thoughts so I could accomplish them better.
     "Be still and know that I am God." I wasn’t sure if that was actual scripture from the Bible or just something I’ve heard said so many times it seems like gospel. So I looked it up. Sure enough, right there in Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth." And whaddaya know! The command to be "still" is in the scripture several other places! Like Exodus 14:13, "And Moses said unto the people, Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will shew to you to day..." And Numbers 9:8, "And Moses said unto them, Stand still, and I will hear what the LORD will command concerning you." Ruth 3:18 says, "Then said she, Sit still, my daughter, until thou know how the matter will fall..." And of course there’s Job 37:14, "Hearken unto this, O Job: stand still, and consider the wondrous works of God." There are even scriptures that tell of the earth, the sun and the moon standing still. And Matthew and Mark tell us that "Jesus stood still." All these people had to be still to hear, know, consider and see what God had for them to do. Why should I be any different?
     So then I decided I would look up the word "still" and get a more clear definition. Dictionary.com says this, "(1) remaining in place or at rest; motionless... (2) free from sound or noise... (4) free from turbulence or commotion; peaceful; tranquil; calm... (5) without waves or perceptible current."  Hmm...motionless... without motion. With vertigo, that’s not a problem. If I move, I go one way and the room goes another. Free from sound or noise...turbulence or commotion. This one is a little harder. There are certain things around me that I have no control over - the phone ringing, people talking. Without waves or perceptible current. Have you ever noticed still water? Where there are absolutely no waves visible? Very often it shows a reflection of the sky and nearby surroundings. It can be quite beautiful.
     So...let’s review. When God told me to "be still," he wasn’t just talking about my mind, my inner thoughts. Could it be he meant for me to physically not move. How is that even possible?! I don’t understand!! As I lay in bed with the furniture, walls and ceiling swirling around me, I tried to focus on one central object. Maybe if I can just get my eyes fixed on a certain spot, everything else will fall back into place. But I couldn’t do it. My eyes would not fix on that one spot. They kept floating around, rolling and swirling with everything else. That made me feel worse, so I just closed them. All I could do was pray, "Lord make this go away."
     "Be still and know that I am God." When everything seems to be careening out of control, I am to be completely still, no moving, no thinking, no trying to focus on what I think I need to be focusing on. Just close my eyes and let God have full control. That’s the only way my world will stop spinning.