I jotted this down a few weeks ago, thought I had lost it, but just found it again. I tried not to edit too much, but maybe it'll make some sense.
I discovered that the "bible app" on my ipad has a feature that will actually read the Bible aloud to you. It’s really cool! The guy with the accent can make it sound a lot better than my voice in my head. I took this as an opportunity to start actually reading the Bible, I mean more than the few scriptures for morning devotion. After much deliberation on where to start, God said "just start in the beginning." So I did - Genesis 1.
Now Genesis is a fascinating book, full of great stories that really hold your interest. The same for Exodus - well, the first half of it anyway. After the children of Israel are led out of Egypt and begin their wandering in the wilderness, God begins to talk to them and teach them the things they will need to know and do when they reach the Promised Land. It may sound interesting, but it’s not an exciting read. I tried to skip it, but God wouldn’t let me. So I read it...all of it. And even though I still couldn’t tell you exactly how the tabernacle was put together, how big it was, or how many curtains were on each side or how many loops were on each curtain, I did learn a few things:
God will provide.
As detailed as His instructions were for building the tabernacle, He had already put people in place to accomplish each part. He didn’t set out all the specifications, then say "oops, sorry, you don’t have anybody who can handle brass, so you’re just left out." He gave them everything they needed.
God wants what He wants - no exceptions.
God set out the details of how the tabernacle was to be built. Never once did He say, "oh that might be too hard" or "just do whatever is easiest for you." No, He wanted it built to His specifications, no cutting corners or slacking in workmanship.
God makes a way.
When setting out how the sacrifices were to be carried out, everyone was to give bulls, rams, lambs, kid goats, etc. "according to their number, after the manner." A few times, though, he said that if a person did not have a certain bigger animal and didn’t have the means to get it, they could bring a smaller animal (like a pigeon). He did not cast out the lowly.
God sees every person, individually.
When counting the numbers of the different tribes, every person was counted and noted. He didn’t estimate and say "the tribe of Ruben has about this many, and the tribe of Benjamin has about this many." He counted each individual person and knew them by name.
God acknowledges every sacrifice.
There were twelve tribes, and they were all to give a specific sacrifice. Even though every sacrifice was the same, each is recorded and written in His Word. Each was special and given for a reason. Everything we do for Him, no matter how repetitious it seems to us, He takes notice.
Don’t get so caught up in the little details that you miss the big picture.
God gave a lot of statutes and commandments and specifications of how to build things and when to do things and who was to sacrifice what, etc., etc. But all the people had to do to get to the land He promised them, was to follow the cloud in the day and the fire at night, stop when it stopped and move when it moved. If they did that, the rest would just fall into place.
God has a purpose for everything.
No matter how boring it seems; no matter how many times the same thing is repeated over and over; no matter how many times you ask him to let you skip this part and move on to something else and He says no - there is a reason. If I had not read all the minute details, I would not have understood the importance of what comes after.
God will see you through.
I have made it slowly through Exodus, Leviticus and Numbers, and am now reading Deuteronomy. So far Chapter 4 is my favorite. I look back now and know that I needed the foundation. I had to go through the rough part to get here. It could not be skipped. And the best is yet to come.
Sunday, October 16, 2016
Saturday, March 26, 2016
Kitchen Sink Revelation
A woman's work is never done. That's what I thought this morning as I sat down and made my to-do list and shopping list for the day. There is always that never-ending cycle of dishes and laundry. Something's always dirty and needing to be washed. Some are clean and just need to be put in their proper place. And it's in the middle of this busyness, God speaks to me and tells me how much folding laundry and washing dishes is so much like my spiritual life.
To me, there is nothing so satisfying as the bottom of the clothes hamper. It's empty! Laundry is done....well, more like caught up...at least for the moment. This is a daily thing. There are things we wear daily that need to be washed often. This is needful and expected. Yes, it can get overwhelming at times. But I've often found that those overwhelming times come when I've not stayed on top of the pile. I've skipped a day or took time to "relax" instead of doing what needed to be done. Oh me.
My weakness, the thing that NEVER seems to be DONE - cleaning the kitchen. I hand-wash some dishes, and some go in the dishwasher. (wow, I just realized there's a whole other message in that.) It hurts me to wash dishes. Just standing there, repetitive motions, gives me a backache. (guess that's what I should use the dishwasher for.) When I start washing, it seems like it will be forever before I'm done. But when I get down to that last pot or skillet, wouldn't you know it - it won't come clean. It needs to soak a while. So I leave it sitting, thinking I'll go sit down and rest a few minutes before I try to tackle it again. Next thing I know, the 10:00 news is on and I've still got a load of laundry to fold and that pot is still soaking...only now it's sitting in nasty, cold, greasy water...and I'm just too tired to deal with it right now. So I leave it, only to pile up the daily breakfast and lunch dishes on top of it the next day, and come supper time...there sits the pot I need to use, dirty. So I wash it, cook, and start the process all over again.
I'm not yet sure why God showed me this. I guess it just seems there is always that one thing (whatever it is) that always stands in the way of my clean kitchen. That dirty pot stands between me and my peace.
To me, there is nothing so satisfying as the bottom of the clothes hamper. It's empty! Laundry is done....well, more like caught up...at least for the moment. This is a daily thing. There are things we wear daily that need to be washed often. This is needful and expected. Yes, it can get overwhelming at times. But I've often found that those overwhelming times come when I've not stayed on top of the pile. I've skipped a day or took time to "relax" instead of doing what needed to be done. Oh me.
My weakness, the thing that NEVER seems to be DONE - cleaning the kitchen. I hand-wash some dishes, and some go in the dishwasher. (wow, I just realized there's a whole other message in that.) It hurts me to wash dishes. Just standing there, repetitive motions, gives me a backache. (guess that's what I should use the dishwasher for.) When I start washing, it seems like it will be forever before I'm done. But when I get down to that last pot or skillet, wouldn't you know it - it won't come clean. It needs to soak a while. So I leave it sitting, thinking I'll go sit down and rest a few minutes before I try to tackle it again. Next thing I know, the 10:00 news is on and I've still got a load of laundry to fold and that pot is still soaking...only now it's sitting in nasty, cold, greasy water...and I'm just too tired to deal with it right now. So I leave it, only to pile up the daily breakfast and lunch dishes on top of it the next day, and come supper time...there sits the pot I need to use, dirty. So I wash it, cook, and start the process all over again.
I'm not yet sure why God showed me this. I guess it just seems there is always that one thing (whatever it is) that always stands in the way of my clean kitchen. That dirty pot stands between me and my peace.
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
Random Thoughts & Happenings of the Day
First thing this morning - bird flew into office window. He sat in the parking lot for quite a while after that. Autumn went to check on him. He appeared fine, just must be stunned. He later flew into another window, this time not as hard, and sat in the window sill for a while before flying off.
I thought the boss had dictated all afternoon yesterday, but when he downloaded this morning, there’s only 24 seconds on the recorder. Not good.
By 9:00, had answered too many phone calls to count. About half either didn’t say anything or hung up; a couple were from the boss; several wrong numbers; a fax; a lady who thought she couldn’t find our office but ended up being in the parking lot; and the rest were random crazy people.
9:10 - email “hit an electrical glitch.”
9:20 - I’m in the copy room when I hear the front door open, so I go to the front to see who it is. A man has come in the lobby, proceeded through the door into the office, and is now wandering around, heading to Autumn’s desk. He tells Autumn, “I’m lost, I’m looking for [name].” She gives him her best “deer in the headlights” look, and I’m behind him not knowing what to do, afraid to say anything that might startle him, and thinking he’s in the wrong office. “---and Zach. My wife had an appointment here.” I show him to Zach’s office, and me and Autumn share our “what the hecks” and bust into laughter.
9:25 - I finish my coffee.
Wow, it’s lunchtime and I’ve actually got a little work done.
11:50 - Autumn is leaving for lunch, backing up in the parking lot, looks in rearview mirror - sees a bald man in a “wife-beater” shirt carrying a bag. In her words, “he looked like a serial killer! ... I think he went to the neighbor’s house.”
Called court clerk to confirm court date.
Immediately following that call, the same client (the one I just confirmed a court date for) calls and makes an appointment for us to help with a custody case. Custody...of children?
2:00 - Since we have heard no gunshots and have seen no other sign of the guy from the parking lot, we assume the neighbors are still alive. “Unless he used a silencer. ... or maybe he used a knife.”
And there’s always that one phone call -
I thought the boss had dictated all afternoon yesterday, but when he downloaded this morning, there’s only 24 seconds on the recorder. Not good.
By 9:00, had answered too many phone calls to count. About half either didn’t say anything or hung up; a couple were from the boss; several wrong numbers; a fax; a lady who thought she couldn’t find our office but ended up being in the parking lot; and the rest were random crazy people.
9:10 - email “hit an electrical glitch.”
9:20 - I’m in the copy room when I hear the front door open, so I go to the front to see who it is. A man has come in the lobby, proceeded through the door into the office, and is now wandering around, heading to Autumn’s desk. He tells Autumn, “I’m lost, I’m looking for [name].” She gives him her best “deer in the headlights” look, and I’m behind him not knowing what to do, afraid to say anything that might startle him, and thinking he’s in the wrong office. “---and Zach. My wife had an appointment here.” I show him to Zach’s office, and me and Autumn share our “what the hecks” and bust into laughter.
9:25 - I finish my coffee.
Wow, it’s lunchtime and I’ve actually got a little work done.
11:50 - Autumn is leaving for lunch, backing up in the parking lot, looks in rearview mirror - sees a bald man in a “wife-beater” shirt carrying a bag. In her words, “he looked like a serial killer! ... I think he went to the neighbor’s house.”
Called court clerk to confirm court date.
- Clerk: “That case is to be dismissed on payment of cost, which he hasn’t paid yet.”
- Me: “So is it set for review?”
- Clerk: “No, that case is not set. The other cases [names off several drug charges, etc.] are set for review on [date].”
- Me: “So, this case we represent him on, he still owes money, but it’s not set any time for review?”
- Clerk: “Yes. It’s set on [same date].”
Immediately following that call, the same client (the one I just confirmed a court date for) calls and makes an appointment for us to help with a custody case. Custody...of children?
2:00 - Since we have heard no gunshots and have seen no other sign of the guy from the parking lot, we assume the neighbors are still alive. “Unless he used a silencer. ... or maybe he used a knife.”
And there’s always that one phone call -
- "Hi, I’m the lady that called earlier."
- "Um, ok."
- "Are you not the person I talked to?
- "Nope." (Standard answer, because even if I did talk to her earlier, I’ve probably talked to a dozen more since then and still won’t remember what she called about.)
Sunday, November 8, 2015
There's Power in....
I felt it today as I was leaving the church parking lot. The need for more. More of what, though, I wasn't sure. On the drive home, the Lord showed me some things. He took what I thought I wanted and gave me a deeper meaning. Hopefully it will make sense to the one out there who needs it:
I drive a black minivan. And, as my son often says, it's hard to look cool in a minivan. But I don't drive a minivan to look cool. I drive it mostly because it's practical. It can haul things and/or people as needed. It's my "grocery-go-getter" and my "kid-picker-upper." When I press on the gas, it goes, usually without much fanfare or noise. It's dirty. It has a loootttt of miles on it, and right now is well overdue for an oil change. It's my steady and reliable mode of transportation.
But....in the garage....behind closed doors...where the dirt and elements don't enter so easily....there is something else. Something most have only heard about and few have really seen. It's a shiny red 1964 Chevelle with a big motor. It's not practical for everyday driving and the day-in/day-out messiness of family life. But on those days when it's brought into the sunlight, I can feel it. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it's a different feeling than when I drive the minivan. When I press the gas, it makes noise - oh that insides-shaking noise - and it goes...it goes like it means business. It has....power.
Maybe that's what I felt I needed more of today - power. Most days I'm just like that ol' minivan. I'm worn and weary, dirty and in need of some TLC. Just going about life, doing what needs to be done and taking care of stuff. Then there are those occasions when I want to be more like the hotrod. When I put things in gear and press the gas, I want there to be movement and noise and a feeling of "oh wow!"
What God has shown me today is that I have the ability and opportunity to be both. I own them both. They are both mine, and they are both part of who I am. It's up to me which one I put the gas in, turn the key, and go in.
I drive a black minivan. And, as my son often says, it's hard to look cool in a minivan. But I don't drive a minivan to look cool. I drive it mostly because it's practical. It can haul things and/or people as needed. It's my "grocery-go-getter" and my "kid-picker-upper." When I press on the gas, it goes, usually without much fanfare or noise. It's dirty. It has a loootttt of miles on it, and right now is well overdue for an oil change. It's my steady and reliable mode of transportation.
But....in the garage....behind closed doors...where the dirt and elements don't enter so easily....there is something else. Something most have only heard about and few have really seen. It's a shiny red 1964 Chevelle with a big motor. It's not practical for everyday driving and the day-in/day-out messiness of family life. But on those days when it's brought into the sunlight, I can feel it. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it's a different feeling than when I drive the minivan. When I press the gas, it makes noise - oh that insides-shaking noise - and it goes...it goes like it means business. It has....power.
Maybe that's what I felt I needed more of today - power. Most days I'm just like that ol' minivan. I'm worn and weary, dirty and in need of some TLC. Just going about life, doing what needs to be done and taking care of stuff. Then there are those occasions when I want to be more like the hotrod. When I put things in gear and press the gas, I want there to be movement and noise and a feeling of "oh wow!"
What God has shown me today is that I have the ability and opportunity to be both. I own them both. They are both mine, and they are both part of who I am. It's up to me which one I put the gas in, turn the key, and go in.
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
You're Gonna Miss This
“You’re gonna miss this.” That’s what people say. I’ve heard it ever since my kids were babies. There’s even a song about it. But, honestly, miss it? Really? I don’t feel it.
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed my babies...when they were babies. The every-two-hour feeding schedule for preemies; the no-bleach-in-the-laundry for sensitive skin; the up-all-night-screaming (mostly the baby). The nightly bath time, the smell of baby lotion, their soft breath on my arm or neck as they fell asleep. They were so cute!
The first days of school; the “I can do it myself” tantrums (again, mostly the baby); the running away from home only to make it to the end of the driveway. The birthday parties and sleepovers and almost always a house full of kids ages 2 to 12.
The 11-year-old girl drama stage; the Power Ranger kicks; hearing “hey Mama guess what” for the millionth time.
Getting their driver’s permit, and then their license. Making sure everybody and every vehicle was covered on the insurance. Prom. Graduation. Visiting colleges. The day they moved out.
I wouldn’t change any of it. I have loved my kids at every stage of their lives. But go back and do it again? I’m not sure about that. Each phase had its good times, but it also had its completely nerve-racking times. And we have pictures of it all. There has been a lot of blood, sweat and tears that went into raising three healthy, well-behaved, independent, functional members of society. There were days when I had my doubts. And I was glad to do it. After all, I’m their Mama, and that’s what Mama’s do.
So, today, as I prepare myself for my oldest son’s high school graduation, trying not to be all mushy and sentimental, I admit I look back with tugging heart strings over the past 19 years. He has grown into quite a young man. Beside him, I have my newlywed daughter and her husband. And on the other side is my youngest, the new teenager in the family (who I just realized will be driving in little more than a year and a half). We have come a long way. But I don’t think either one of us wants to go back and start over. Can’t wait to see what the next phases bring!
Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed my babies...when they were babies. The every-two-hour feeding schedule for preemies; the no-bleach-in-the-laundry for sensitive skin; the up-all-night-screaming (mostly the baby). The nightly bath time, the smell of baby lotion, their soft breath on my arm or neck as they fell asleep. They were so cute!
The first days of school; the “I can do it myself” tantrums (again, mostly the baby); the running away from home only to make it to the end of the driveway. The birthday parties and sleepovers and almost always a house full of kids ages 2 to 12.
The 11-year-old girl drama stage; the Power Ranger kicks; hearing “hey Mama guess what” for the millionth time.
Getting their driver’s permit, and then their license. Making sure everybody and every vehicle was covered on the insurance. Prom. Graduation. Visiting colleges. The day they moved out.
I wouldn’t change any of it. I have loved my kids at every stage of their lives. But go back and do it again? I’m not sure about that. Each phase had its good times, but it also had its completely nerve-racking times. And we have pictures of it all. There has been a lot of blood, sweat and tears that went into raising three healthy, well-behaved, independent, functional members of society. There were days when I had my doubts. And I was glad to do it. After all, I’m their Mama, and that’s what Mama’s do.
So, today, as I prepare myself for my oldest son’s high school graduation, trying not to be all mushy and sentimental, I admit I look back with tugging heart strings over the past 19 years. He has grown into quite a young man. Beside him, I have my newlywed daughter and her husband. And on the other side is my youngest, the new teenager in the family (who I just realized will be driving in little more than a year and a half). We have come a long way. But I don’t think either one of us wants to go back and start over. Can’t wait to see what the next phases bring!
Friday, January 24, 2014
Where Do I Start?
Hello again! I have been quiet in the writing world lately, but not because I don't have anything to say. I just haven't had anything that I could say publicly. It has taken me a few days to decide if I wanted to start this or not. Keeping track of the daily progress as I count down the busyness of what's ahead.
We've had a stressful - no, let's say eventful - last few months. A lot of changes have come along (and are still coming). To give you the short version - my oldest son decided it was time for him to move out and be on his own; my mom announced she was getting married and set her wedding date at March 1, 2014; and my daughter got engaged and set her wedding date at April 19, 2014. All within a span of about two weeks. Talk about some head-spinning!
It has taken me some time to come to grips with all that has taken place. And the growth process has not been pretty. For a non-emotional person, I was quite emotional. I could go from sentimental to sad to mad just during my drive to work. I was afraid to say too much for fear of what might come out. Once things are said, you can't unsay them any more than the person you say them to can unhear them. Thus my silence.
But here I am. Am I ready to lay it out there? Are y'all ready to hear it? Don't worry, I'm not going on that rollercoaster ride again. I just think it would be neat to chronicle the goings on over the next few months. With a ladies retreat to help coordinate, two weddings to put together, at least one baby shower to plan, and making sure everybody knows about my son's high school graduation - there are a lot of details to keep straight.
I hope to be posting my progress every day. But I won't be sharing everything on facebook. So, if you want to follow along, I'd be glad to have you. Just sign up to receive each post by email. Or, if you can remember, just check back here occasionally and catch up.
Ready...Set...Here We Go!
Monday, October 14, 2013
Along Came a Spider
I have just about exhausted my poor computer’s search engine trying to find out how to get rid of and prevent spider webs. No matter how much I clean and knock those things down, they always come right back. I have googled and binged till I’m just about googled and binged out. I’ve seen everything from do-it-yourself solutions to ads for the best exterminators around. I honestly haven’t found any that appeared fool-proof enough to spend my time and money on. When I put down some chemicals to do away with some spiders, I don’t expect to ever see a spider in my house again...ever.
But, leave it to my ever-meddling pastor to give me the perfect solution. After a wonderful sermon hitting me right between the eyes, he summed it up nicely - the only way to stop spiders from rebuilding their webs is to...now get this...KILL THE SPIDER! Well duh! How simple is that?!
That may just be my problem. You see, I’m not one of those people who freaks out over spiders. Granted, I don’t want them crawling on me, but I don’t go all kung-fu on them either. When I see a spider crawling on the floor, or even climbing it’s pretty web up to the ceiling, I usually just leave it be. Sometimes it’s because I’ve got my hands full and to kill the spider would mean unloading and then trying to pick everything back up again. Most of the time, though, it’s because I’m just too busy to stop and deal with it. That one spider is not hurting anything right now, and when I squish it I’ll just have another mess to clean up.
The pastor’s sermon on spiders and their webs in dark corners entangling unsuspecting insects to their doom was, of course, representing the devil’s tactics to get us all tangled up in our sins. As I listened to his words, I saw how I could apply this same scenario to several areas of my life that, quite frankly, had become as troublesome as those never-ending spider webs. It seems that while I’ve been trying to keep the peace, I’ve only served to create chaos.
It’s easier to let the kids watch whatever is on tv than it is to argue with them about what they’re watching. It’s easier to let them play their video games instead of explaining the dangers of pretending to steal cars and beat people up. It’s easier to just do the chores myself than to teach them responsibility. It’s easier to let them sleep in after being up all night with friends sleeping over than it is to get everybody up and ready for church. It’s easier to let one more “I’m just kidding” remark slip by than it is to correct him for his disrespect. It’s easier to let the spider crawl back into the darkness on than it is to kill it.
It’s easy for phone calls to friends or church members to be overrun by dishes and laundry. It’s easy for visits with family to be pushed aside for errands and the occasional “down time.” It’s easy for quiet time with God to be interrupted by “Mama I need...” and “Mama can you...” For all my good intentions, I evidently lack the focus and determination to get to the more important things.
Instead of constantly worrying what somebody will think when they see all the spider webs in my house, maybe I should put some of that effort into preventing them in the first place. Instead of staying busy knocking them down, maybe I should kill a few spiders and clean up the mess.
(I hope you got as much out of this as I did. I am thankful for my wonderful Pastor who allows God to speak through him and, unknowingly, to get all up in my business. God Bless you all!)
But, leave it to my ever-meddling pastor to give me the perfect solution. After a wonderful sermon hitting me right between the eyes, he summed it up nicely - the only way to stop spiders from rebuilding their webs is to...now get this...KILL THE SPIDER! Well duh! How simple is that?!
That may just be my problem. You see, I’m not one of those people who freaks out over spiders. Granted, I don’t want them crawling on me, but I don’t go all kung-fu on them either. When I see a spider crawling on the floor, or even climbing it’s pretty web up to the ceiling, I usually just leave it be. Sometimes it’s because I’ve got my hands full and to kill the spider would mean unloading and then trying to pick everything back up again. Most of the time, though, it’s because I’m just too busy to stop and deal with it. That one spider is not hurting anything right now, and when I squish it I’ll just have another mess to clean up.
The pastor’s sermon on spiders and their webs in dark corners entangling unsuspecting insects to their doom was, of course, representing the devil’s tactics to get us all tangled up in our sins. As I listened to his words, I saw how I could apply this same scenario to several areas of my life that, quite frankly, had become as troublesome as those never-ending spider webs. It seems that while I’ve been trying to keep the peace, I’ve only served to create chaos.
It’s easier to let the kids watch whatever is on tv than it is to argue with them about what they’re watching. It’s easier to let them play their video games instead of explaining the dangers of pretending to steal cars and beat people up. It’s easier to just do the chores myself than to teach them responsibility. It’s easier to let them sleep in after being up all night with friends sleeping over than it is to get everybody up and ready for church. It’s easier to let one more “I’m just kidding” remark slip by than it is to correct him for his disrespect. It’s easier to let the spider crawl back into the darkness on than it is to kill it.
It’s easy for phone calls to friends or church members to be overrun by dishes and laundry. It’s easy for visits with family to be pushed aside for errands and the occasional “down time.” It’s easy for quiet time with God to be interrupted by “Mama I need...” and “Mama can you...” For all my good intentions, I evidently lack the focus and determination to get to the more important things.
Instead of constantly worrying what somebody will think when they see all the spider webs in my house, maybe I should put some of that effort into preventing them in the first place. Instead of staying busy knocking them down, maybe I should kill a few spiders and clean up the mess.
(I hope you got as much out of this as I did. I am thankful for my wonderful Pastor who allows God to speak through him and, unknowingly, to get all up in my business. God Bless you all!)
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